How I Rewrote My Dating Profile Like Hemingway Here is What Happened Made Me Irresistible

Last Saturday night at approximately 11:38 PM (because what else do you do on a Saturday night?), I found myself staring at my dating profile. It was filled with the usual suspects: a picture of me pretending to like hiking, a witty quote that I definitely didn’t come up with, and some harmless banter about loving pizza (because apparently, everyone loves pizza). And yet, there I was, with a match rate that could only be described as abysmal—like 12%. I'm talking buried-in-the-algorithm bad. So, in a moment of inspiration—or perhaps sheer desperation—I decided to rewrite my dating profile using Hemingway’s style. You know, the guy famous for writing six-word stories and being able to say more with less. Spoiler alert: It didn’t involve nearly as much alcohol as Hemingway would have suggested (my liver sends its regards). Armed with Hemingway’s minimalist approach (and possibly a thesaurus), I stripped down my profile to the essentials. I cut out the fluff, the pretentiousness, and even some vowels (kidding on that last one). My new profile read like this: "Love: words, coffee, adventure. Seeking: honest, kind, curious. Simple joys: sunrise, stories, laughter." Now, why did I think this would work? Well, it’s simple. Less can be more, and in Hemingway’s world, it's usually a lot more. When you're swiping through a sea of profiles, each more verbose than the next, something stark and direct stands out. Plus, there's something inherently intriguing about someone who can say a lot with a little (or so I hoped). But how do you actually apply Hemingway's style to something as inherently fluffy as a dating profile? The key is to focus on the core elements that make you, well, you. Strip down your sentences to the essentials, like you’re peeling an onion. Get rid of anything that doesn’t add value or spark curiosity. Hemingway was a master of subtext and implication—qualities that translate surprisingly well to the world of online dating. If you're ready to give this a go (and trust me, you should), start by writing down everything you want to say in your profile. Then, start cutting. And cutting. And cutting some more. Aim for the essence of what you want to convey in as few words as possible. Would you believe my match rate shot up to 57%? I'm just as surprised as you are. It turns out, people appreciate a good mystery, or maybe they were just relieved not to read another essay on how someone loves to travel but has only been to Cabo. One match even messaged saying, "Your profile is like a breath of fresh air." (I believe that’s what they call a 'win' in dating circles.) For those who want to take this a step further, consider incorporating some Hemingway-esque activities or interests that genuinely resonate with you. If you’re into fishing, mention it. If you write six-word stories for fun, boast about it. Keep it authentic, because if there's one thing Hemingway couldn’t stand, it was a phony (he and Holden Caulfield would've been besties). So, ready to transform your dating profile into a literary masterpiece? Take the plunge. Embrace the simplicity. And who knows, maybe you’ll find someone who appreciates your love for economy of language as much as your taste in music (which, let’s face it, is best described as "eclectic" because no one wants to admit they love 90s boy bands). And with that, my friends, go forth and channel your inner Hemingway. Who knows, you might just find the love of your life—or at the very least, have a lot more fun in your quest. Just remember, keep it simple, keep it honest, and keep it you.